can you feel my heartbeat
the heart that you stepped all over and left
is still beating. and it's beating for you
no matter how hard i try to forget
no matter how many new people i meet
why do i keep thinking of only you when i turn around
i don't want to do this anymore. i want to stop.
no matter how many times i try and try to stop myself
it's no use. my heart is broken. why
why do i keep doing such foolish things
i know in my head, but why is my heart rebelling
i'm holding on to you and can't let go.
it still feels like you're next to me.
i can't believe in farewell
no matter who i meet, i can't open up one part of my heart and i keep your place empty
there's no reason for you come back, but why do i keep thinking that you might come back
why isn't my heart listening
listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you
don't i know that it's over. i don't understand why i'm like this
listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you
it still hurts thinking of you. i think of you every time my heart beats
i have to forget. i have to forget in order to live
i have to erase it. if i don't, i'll die
stop trying to get her back. she ain't coming
she's gone, gotta be moving on
she left. she won't come back. she doesn't think of you.
she doesn't know that i'm waiting for her, she's doing well
she already forgot about me, totally erased me.
why can't i do that
listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you
my heart is beating faster and faster (x4)
Jumat, 02 Juli 2010
Sabtu, 29 Mei 2010
:)
Everybody said to heal a broken heart and move on from someone what you need is time, but I think that's not true. Cause I've been separated with you know who for 3 month now, but I haven't move one yet. Oke oke maybe the healing part is right, but not the move on part.
Do you guys remember that I said I want him to feel the pain that I feel?? Do you guys remember that I said I want karma to get him?? Do you guys remember I won't forgive him until he pay what he have done to me?? Well now I don't want karma to get him, I don't want him feel the pain that I feel, cause I know how much it hurts and i don't want him to feel that pain. I just wish him happiness, I wish he's happy with his new girl and I wish he treat her well.
Maybe all of you think "how the hell you can forgive someone like him?? How could you wish him for happiness" but guys when you love someone so deeply, you can forgive all the mistake they've done, no matter how bad it is and you'll forget about it.
I never thought I would love someone like this, I never felt like this before. But I'm happy cause now I can really let him go even I haven't move on yet.
See, my pain is healed but I haven't move on yet. its freakingly hard for me to move on from him. I think the only way for me to move on from him is I have to find someone who can replace him from my heart, but I haven't found that person yet. I wish I'm gonna find him soon :)
Dear s,
I wish you're doing well and you're happy with her now, treat her well okey :)
Do you guys remember that I said I want him to feel the pain that I feel?? Do you guys remember that I said I want karma to get him?? Do you guys remember I won't forgive him until he pay what he have done to me?? Well now I don't want karma to get him, I don't want him feel the pain that I feel, cause I know how much it hurts and i don't want him to feel that pain. I just wish him happiness, I wish he's happy with his new girl and I wish he treat her well.
Maybe all of you think "how the hell you can forgive someone like him?? How could you wish him for happiness" but guys when you love someone so deeply, you can forgive all the mistake they've done, no matter how bad it is and you'll forget about it.
I never thought I would love someone like this, I never felt like this before. But I'm happy cause now I can really let him go even I haven't move on yet.
See, my pain is healed but I haven't move on yet. its freakingly hard for me to move on from him. I think the only way for me to move on from him is I have to find someone who can replace him from my heart, but I haven't found that person yet. I wish I'm gonna find him soon :)
Dear s,
I wish you're doing well and you're happy with her now, treat her well okey :)
Kamis, 29 April 2010
after all this time
After all this time, I'm still in love with you
After what you've done to me, after all the pain you gave to me, I'm still in love you
Yes I know I'm stupid, but I just can't lie that I still love you
I try to move on oh I try so hard, but I just can.
And now you're with another girl, it kills me to see someone is replacing me, it kills me to see you give your love to someone else,
But what can I do? Maybe we are not meat to be together,
Maybe I'm not good enough for you
Maybe I'm not the right person for you
And all I can do right now is wish you happines with her, all I can do is watch you from the distance, all I can do is tell my self that I need to move on from you
Even though you hurt me, even though you leave me, even though you're with someone else right now, I still love you S
After what you've done to me, after all the pain you gave to me, I'm still in love you
Yes I know I'm stupid, but I just can't lie that I still love you
I try to move on oh I try so hard, but I just can.
And now you're with another girl, it kills me to see someone is replacing me, it kills me to see you give your love to someone else,
But what can I do? Maybe we are not meat to be together,
Maybe I'm not good enough for you
Maybe I'm not the right person for you
And all I can do right now is wish you happines with her, all I can do is watch you from the distance, all I can do is tell my self that I need to move on from you
Even though you hurt me, even though you leave me, even though you're with someone else right now, I still love you S
Minggu, 28 Maret 2010
its all just a mask
I can fool my friend with a smile and laugh that shows I'm fine , I'm oke, and I move on. But I can't fool my heart, I'm not okey, I'm not fine and I haven't move on yet. I still love that bastard but now I hate him to. But still I can't erase him 100% from my heart.
Until this day I couldn't find someone to take his place, even my best ex can't. All my friend said that someday I'll be back with pepe, but I don't want to. Is not that I don't love him anymore, its just I love as my bestfriend.
Every day I wear a mask that shows I don't care anymore with that bastard and I hate him to death. I still cried at night because of him, I still cannot believe the boy that I love so much can hurt me and treat me like this. Every time I see him my heart feels like its been stab with a knife.
But thank god I have k-pop, it helps me take my mind off him. Every time I watch my korean boy band video like shinee or 2pm, I forget about him and I don't feel any pain.
I kinda happy and glad that now I hate him so much, cause that mean I'm on my way to move on. All I need is patient and time to heal. In couple of month I will graduate from school and after that I won't see him any more, that will help the move on process
I never wish bad things would happen with him, but I never wish him well. Last week I hear he lost his blackberry, when I heard that news I'm kinda happy and my heart is laughing.
Hey s, just wait karma to get you. When she comes you'll be sorry for what you've done to me, you will feel what I feel, and it will be worst than mine. And by that time I'm the one who'll be laughing.
Until this day I couldn't find someone to take his place, even my best ex can't. All my friend said that someday I'll be back with pepe, but I don't want to. Is not that I don't love him anymore, its just I love as my bestfriend.
Every day I wear a mask that shows I don't care anymore with that bastard and I hate him to death. I still cried at night because of him, I still cannot believe the boy that I love so much can hurt me and treat me like this. Every time I see him my heart feels like its been stab with a knife.
But thank god I have k-pop, it helps me take my mind off him. Every time I watch my korean boy band video like shinee or 2pm, I forget about him and I don't feel any pain.
I kinda happy and glad that now I hate him so much, cause that mean I'm on my way to move on. All I need is patient and time to heal. In couple of month I will graduate from school and after that I won't see him any more, that will help the move on process
I never wish bad things would happen with him, but I never wish him well. Last week I hear he lost his blackberry, when I heard that news I'm kinda happy and my heart is laughing.
Hey s, just wait karma to get you. When she comes you'll be sorry for what you've done to me, you will feel what I feel, and it will be worst than mine. And by that time I'm the one who'll be laughing.
Kamis, 18 Maret 2010
sorry but i just cant forgive you bastard
Well tadi malem si suryo bbm-in gw yang isinya dia minta maaf gw, dia bilang dia banyak salah sama gw dan dia minta gw maafin. Pas gw baca yang langsung terlintas di otak gw adalah "ha! Abis lo nyakitin gw , lo minta gw maafin lo? OGAH! Jangan harap" gw emang ga bisa maafin dia, udh gto minta maafnya lewat bbm dan dia juga minta maaf cm krn bentar lagi uan, sepak sepik doang itu.
Trs tadi di sekolah kan kita maaf-maafan gto, trs dia jg minta maaf ke gw lagi, tp ngga tau knp yaa gw ga bisa maafin dia. Gw mau tp gw ga bisa. He hurt me to much. Gw ga akan maafin dia smp dia ngerasain jadi gw, smp dia tau gimana sakitnya gw selama ini dan dia bener-bener ngerasa bersalah.
Dia to manusia paling brengsek yg pernah ada, muka plus tapi sifat minus. Sampah! Well suryo meybe I never wish you bad things , but I don't wish you well. Someday you will pay what you have done to me, you will feel what I feel and it will be more worse than what I feel right know, remeber that you bastard!!
Trs tadi di sekolah kan kita maaf-maafan gto, trs dia jg minta maaf ke gw lagi, tp ngga tau knp yaa gw ga bisa maafin dia. Gw mau tp gw ga bisa. He hurt me to much. Gw ga akan maafin dia smp dia ngerasain jadi gw, smp dia tau gimana sakitnya gw selama ini dan dia bener-bener ngerasa bersalah.
Dia to manusia paling brengsek yg pernah ada, muka plus tapi sifat minus. Sampah! Well suryo meybe I never wish you bad things , but I don't wish you well. Someday you will pay what you have done to me, you will feel what I feel and it will be more worse than what I feel right know, remeber that you bastard!!
realize
Well I just finish reading my whole blog, I just realize how stupid I am this past couple of month, why I said that? Because :
1. I choose suryo instead of pepe (the biggest mistake ever)
2. I've been played with that bastard and I still stuck with him(totaly stupid)
Now I just realize that suryo is a jackass, basterd, jerk and he didn't deserve to be love, especially by me. Thingking of him is only wasting my time . After I read all my blogs and think about all what he have done, I feel, in indonesia called "ilfil" I just question my self what in the world was I thinking back than. Why I leave someone so perfect like pepe for a bastard like suryo
Thank you God you showed me how bastard suryo is, and make me realize how pathetic I am this couple of month.
And one other thing that I've realize, I'm just to good for him hahaha
1. I choose suryo instead of pepe (the biggest mistake ever)
2. I've been played with that bastard and I still stuck with him(totaly stupid)
Now I just realize that suryo is a jackass, basterd, jerk and he didn't deserve to be love, especially by me. Thingking of him is only wasting my time . After I read all my blogs and think about all what he have done, I feel, in indonesia called "ilfil" I just question my self what in the world was I thinking back than. Why I leave someone so perfect like pepe for a bastard like suryo
Thank you God you showed me how bastard suryo is, and make me realize how pathetic I am this couple of month.
And one other thing that I've realize, I'm just to good for him hahaha
Senin, 15 Maret 2010
Happy supposed to be 4 month anniversary
Today supposed to be my 4 month anniversary with suryo prasetyo, well since we're not together anymore there's no anniversary. Its kinda sucks to know that my relationship with him only last for 3 month. when we were still together I though that will last at least a year cause back then I though he's a good guy so we can be together for a long period but sadly he's a cold hearted bad guy so it only last for 3 month
Hmm last month I gave him present for our 3rd month anniversary, but he didn't appreciated my gift . Hmmm I wondered does he kept my card? Hmmm I don't think so, he must have throw it away and put in a trashcan. He's such a jerk! I made that card by my self dude! Well not actually by my self cause I've got a little help from Acha but still I've made that and he didn't appreciated it AT ALL!
I never regret gave him present for our 3month anniversary even a day after it we broke up. At least I've showed him how much I love him. I'm sure someday if he remember all the things I've done for him he will regret what he have done to me. Like people said, regrets always comes late and what goes around comes around so someday he will feel what I feel
Well happy supposed to be 4 month anniversary suryo, I hope someday if you be a boyfriend again you will not hurt your girlfriend like you hurt me :)
Hmm last month I gave him present for our 3rd month anniversary, but he didn't appreciated my gift . Hmmm I wondered does he kept my card? Hmmm I don't think so, he must have throw it away and put in a trashcan. He's such a jerk! I made that card by my self dude! Well not actually by my self cause I've got a little help from Acha but still I've made that and he didn't appreciated it AT ALL!
I never regret gave him present for our 3month anniversary even a day after it we broke up. At least I've showed him how much I love him. I'm sure someday if he remember all the things I've done for him he will regret what he have done to me. Like people said, regrets always comes late and what goes around comes around so someday he will feel what I feel
Well happy supposed to be 4 month anniversary suryo, I hope someday if you be a boyfriend again you will not hurt your girlfriend like you hurt me :)
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