he's the bad guy, not me

Guess what, I've been separated with suryo almost a month, but I still cannot take that lil bastard out of my head. Why it is so hard to move on from someone like him? Someone that hurt me so bad. I've tried to forget that he ever existed in my heart but I can't . Its like every time I make I big wall to stay my mind off him, it fall down every time I see him. This is not the first time I've been broken hearted, but I never felt like this before.

There's many question in my head, did he even know how I feel? Did he even know how bad my heart is hurt? Did he ever regret what he have done to me? Did he even felt guilty? But i think he didn't know, he never regret it and not feel guilty.

Sometimes I just wondered what went wrong? Was it my fault? Is it not enough what I've done for him? What have I done that make him loose his feeling to me? Why I'm so easy to forget? Am I not that worth it to be remind? Am that bad as a girlfriend?

But I've tried my best to be a good girlfriend, I just don't know why he suddenly don't love me anymore. I gave him the best of me, I gave him everything(not literally) .

Maybe for him what I've done is not enough, Maybe he thinks I just wasting his time.

NOO! What am I thinking! The problem is not me, but he is. He's the one that can't see how much I love him, he's the one that can't accept me as I am, he's the one that only see the bad side of me instead of the good side. He's the bad guy not me.

good bye s :)

Even though I try to hate you, but there still a part of my heart that loves you, need you and want you. But I know that couldn't and wouldn't happen. you know what? till this time, my feeling for you don't change a bit. I still love you. Now I'm trying to erase you from my heart. its hard, but I know I can do it. there's no use to hold on this feeling , cause its only gonna hurt me more and more. So I have to move on and accept the reality. and the only way so I can move on from you is I have to stay away from you.

Someday - Mariah Carey

Someday

Mariah Carey

You were so blind to let me go

You had it all but didn't know

No one you'll ever find will be

Closer to all your dreams than me

Believing the grass would be greener

You told yourself "I just don't need her now"

But I know you'll soon discover

You're never satisfied with any other

Someday

Oo someday

One you gave away will be the only one you're wishing for

Someday hey hey

Boy you're gonna pay 'cause baby I'm the one who's keeping score

You'll change your mind and call my name

Soon as you find they're all the same

And when you find yourself alone

Don't come back crying

You should have known

Believe me I'm not pretending

It's not hard to predict

This ending now

'Cause I know you'll soon discover

You're needing me in spite of all the

Others

if i ware a boy - beyonce

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy

A Little Too Not Over You

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

Aren't memories supposed to fade?
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it'd be this hard

A Little Too Not Over You - david archuleta

kaya lirik nya david archuleta yang gw tulis di atas, gw sangat sangat sangat sangat susah buat move on dari suryo, i dont know why i love him so much. kadang gw suka bingung kenapa giliran pacar gw jahat n nyakitin gw, gw saayaaaang bngd sama dia. tapi pacar gw baik kayaknya sayang gw biasa aja ke dia. kaya waktu gw sama pepe misalkan, dia kan baik banged to sama gw, tapi mana pernah gw selama 3 tahun pacaran sama dia, gw beliin dia kueh, bikin surprise, or bikinin bekel buat dia, eh pernah deh gw bikin surprise buat dia sekali pas 3tahunan. itu juga gw cuma beliin dia kemeja dan kueh dan gw dateng ke sekolahnya dia. itu petama kalinya gw bikin surprise buat dia. sedangkan sama suryo yang udah jahatin gw, gw beliin kue, bikinin bekel, ulang taun gw kasih surprise kecil2an dan kemaren pas 3 bulanan gw bikinin dia 3 hadiah. beda bangd ya perlakuan gw ke pepe sama ke suryo? aneh ngga sih?? kenapa ya kaya gto?

kadang gw suka berharap "ayo dong nyesel ke lo putusin gw and ajak gw balikan" tapi setiap gw mikir kaya gto, gw kubur to harapan gw dalem2. why? karna gw tau kalo itu ngga bakalan terjadi. gw ngga berharap yang macem dan pada akhirnya kenyataan ngga seperti itu, itu lebih nyakitin. gw udah berusaha kuat mungkin buat ngga mikirin dia, ngga merhatiin dia di kelas tapi gw ngga bisa. aduh jangan sampe deh dia tau keadaan gw yang kaya gini, jangan sampe. kata "the breakup book" kalo cowo tau mantanya masih sayang bangd sama dia , pasti dia langsung ngerasa kalo dia adalah segalanya buat mantannya. males aja gw kalo dia sampe ngerasa kaya gto. oke emang gw sayang sama dia, tapi dia bukan segalanya buat gw. gw masih bisa hidup gto tanpa dia.

OMG SHA! MOVE ON PLEASE!! NGAPAIN SIH LO MIKIRIN ORANG YANG NGGA SAYANG SAMA LO! NGAPAIN SIH MASIH SAYANG SAMA ORANG YANG UDAH NGENYIA2IN LO! SADAR DOOOOONG KALO DIA NGGA BIAK BUAT LO! (even i said like that to my self, i still cannot move on)

Destiny's Child - Survivor. lyrics

Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer,
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder,
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiser,
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter,
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,
Sold nine million.

[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).

Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm inhalin'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
Perfect vision,
You thought I couldn't last without ya,
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without ya,
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without ya,
But I'm on top,
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still gon' be here.


(Bridge)
I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity,
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma told me better than that.


After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity.

Stuck - stacie orrico

"Stuck"

I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can't seem to find a way
To leave the love behind

[Bridge:]
I ain't trippin
I'm just missing you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string
Why you make me cry?
I tried to give you everything
But you just gave me lies

[Bridge]

[Bridge 2:]
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do..
I'm such a fool
For you

[Chorus:]
I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you [last time x2]
It's true
I'm stuck on you