he's the bad guy, not me

Guess what, I've been separated with suryo almost a month, but I still cannot take that lil bastard out of my head. Why it is so hard to move on from someone like him? Someone that hurt me so bad. I've tried to forget that he ever existed in my heart but I can't . Its like every time I make I big wall to stay my mind off him, it fall down every time I see him. This is not the first time I've been broken hearted, but I never felt like this before.

There's many question in my head, did he even know how I feel? Did he even know how bad my heart is hurt? Did he ever regret what he have done to me? Did he even felt guilty? But i think he didn't know, he never regret it and not feel guilty.

Sometimes I just wondered what went wrong? Was it my fault? Is it not enough what I've done for him? What have I done that make him loose his feeling to me? Why I'm so easy to forget? Am I not that worth it to be remind? Am that bad as a girlfriend?

But I've tried my best to be a good girlfriend, I just don't know why he suddenly don't love me anymore. I gave him the best of me, I gave him everything(not literally) .

Maybe for him what I've done is not enough, Maybe he thinks I just wasting his time.

NOO! What am I thinking! The problem is not me, but he is. He's the one that can't see how much I love him, he's the one that can't accept me as I am, he's the one that only see the bad side of me instead of the good side. He's the bad guy not me.