its all just a mask

I can fool my friend with a smile and laugh that shows I'm fine , I'm oke, and I move on. But I can't fool my heart, I'm not okey, I'm not fine and I haven't move on yet. I still love that bastard but now I hate him to. But still I can't erase him 100% from my heart.

Until this day I couldn't find someone to take his place, even my best ex can't. All my friend said that someday I'll be back with pepe, but I don't want to. Is not that I don't love him anymore, its just I love as my bestfriend.

Every day I wear a mask that shows I don't care anymore with that bastard and I hate him to death. I still cried at night because of him, I still cannot believe the boy that I love so much can hurt me and treat me like this. Every time I see him my heart feels like its been stab with a knife.

But thank god I have k-pop, it helps me take my mind off him. Every time I watch my korean boy band video like shinee or 2pm, I forget about him and I don't feel any pain.

I kinda happy and glad that now I hate him so much, cause that mean I'm on my way to move on. All I need is patient and time to heal. In couple of month I will graduate from school and after that I won't see him any more, that will help the move on process

I never wish bad things would happen with him, but I never wish him well. Last week I hear he lost his blackberry, when I heard that news I'm kinda happy and my heart is laughing.

Hey s, just wait karma to get you. When she comes you'll be sorry for what you've done to me, you will feel what I feel, and it will be worst than mine. And by that time I'm the one who'll be laughing.